As a member of Scarsdale High School’s class of 2019 not elected class government official, I speak for everyone, no one, and someone in between. Maybe. I would like to welcome everyone to graduation — more formally known as after after after prom.

Writing with deep reflection and self-examination, I want to remind everyone of the day we first received word of our high school deans because that’s where it all started. Chaos, excitement, tears of joy for leaving middle school, crying out in fear of losing middle school friends (only if you had some), crying because you didn’t know the people in your dean group, or if you’re not in civ-ed, or just crying because you recently got your period and were new to the cycle. But here we are now. New chaos, excitement and tears except for slightly different reasons and hopefully on a more regular period.

Almost everyone I know was uncertain about high school after enduring middle school and if they say they weren’t nervous, they’re lying. Essentially the lucky ones went in looking like Jamie Lynn Spears during the taping of Zoey 101, unlike the rest of us who be lookin’ like Brittney after the anxiety attack and head shave and are now only slowly recovering. Luckily Scarsdale High School “prepares us well for college and the real world.”

Graduating from SHS doesn’t mean our lives in Scarsdale are over. Of course, high school to college is a big transition. Some people have trouble making friends, finding their passions, managing time and leaving home. All of these shocks and transitions are normal and fine to go through — as long as you keep up a good Instagram feed.

Scarsdale did teach us some valuable lessons. From the very first orientation day, we average freshman were thrown into a cage as administrators and teachers yelled, “FIGHT!” Scrambling, we taught ourselves how to study, take tests, find shelter, learn archery, catch fish and provide for our families and children. If Scarsdale has taught me anything, it is that life happens when you are put into a room full of rampant teenage hormones and a substitute teacher.

I decided to compile a list of things we will never have to do again as SHS alumni — your last time experiencing SHS parking; a presidential speech where they talk about those knee slapping cookies; and wooden utensils and the monumental changes they would make.

Never again will we have to walk down those crowded or uncomfortably empty halls and pretend to look at the intricate bricks, marvelous ceramics class artwork, fascinating banister, or frantically look for that thing in your backpack to avoid awkward interactions. Some people still need to grow out of those awkward stages, but to them I say “Congrats!” Next year you will have brand new bricks, artwork, banisters and missing backpack items to admire or look for.

Instead of lasts, let’s talk firsts. This is the first time you get to leave SHS without the obligation to return. Unless, of course, you have yet to return your textbooks.

All these embarrassing high school moments are behind us whether you fall down the stairs, go into the wrong bathroom, your (adult) diaper falls off in class — and those are just things that happened to me. The embarrassing moments sometimes make the best memories, and high school is one big embarrassing moment. In life after high school, you have to take responsibility for your actions and make progress by falling up the stairs and upgrading to Pampers.

Speaking of life after high school, embrace the time we have without receding hairlines and wrinkles. We are all at the peak of our youth before hair implants and cosmetic treatments. Now look to the adults — that’s what we’ll look like when we congregate next.

I don’t wanna be cheesy, corny or sappy or any other yellow food to describe cliche-ness, but I’d like to say “thank you” to the people who in some way brightened up all of our high school careers like a Sketchers light-up sneaker in a dark room. Here we are. We made it. We’re kinda done. One chapter ends and the sequel begins. Right now we are in the advertisement stage of the sequel. In theaters in August ... or September if youz’a trimester kid. High school has been quite the rollercoaster ride and at this point I think we’re all ready to get off this rollercoaster and throw up in the nearest garbage can. That’s a wrap everyone. Have a great life. PEACE.

— Olivia Breitkopf of Ogden Road graduated from SHS on Wednesday, June 26.

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